


The Best that I Can Be

by trickfantasy



Category: Septiplier - Fandom, jacksepticeye, markiplier - Fandom, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Emotional Manipulation, More coming soon - Freeform, Multi, Multichapter, Psychology, Sexual Content, Sexual Manipulation, Teen Angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-10
Updated: 2017-09-17
Packaged: 2018-08-14 04:18:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,450
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7998295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trickfantasy/pseuds/trickfantasy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story of Mark ("Why bother trying to make friends when you can learn to control people instead?") and Jack ("Because you can control people better when they think that they're your friends. They don't even know they're being manipulated.") coping with social interaction at college in their own different ways.</p><p>More chapters coming soon!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

It started with a fight and ended with a crash.

Voices were raised, doors were slammed.

A key in the ignition, a long drive and a freight train smashing into a Honda Civic at a level crossing – the twisted, flaming remains ripping the life from Sean's mother and stealing all shreds of normalcy from his own.

_You know she drove onto those train tracks and waited, Sean._

I-I don't....Mom...Why would she...?

Broken sobs from a broken child.

_Why couldn't you have made life easier for her, Sean? You're so difficult. You're impossible. That's why she did it._

The whispers started, and they didn't stop.

"That's him. That awful boy drove his own mother to suicide."

It didn't take long at all for the news to spread around the small community. Sean McLoughlin was the boy no one liked. The boy who was too arrogant to back down from a fight, refused help when he was offered it, never apologised to anyone. His mother, drowning in despair, had killed herself – and his father didn't stick around much longer after that.

Sean was standing barefoot on the doorstep as his father loaded his belongings into the car.

"Dad, why are you leaving me too?"

Cold eyes. Lips twisted into a cruel sneer.

"Aren't you seeing a pattern here yet, Sean? You're toxic and nobody wants to be around you. I'll be sending money for you and your sister to live on, but the second you turn eighteen, you're on your own. And I expect you will be, in the figurative sense too."

And that was how Sean lived for the next five years. He buried his guilt and anxieties, never getting close to anyone. Not that anyone wanted to be close to him, but they saw his barriers as defiance. Arrogance. The boy with the most difficult personality.

His sister grew apart from him too. Naturally she found a boyfriend and stopped coming home most nights. Sean hadn't seen her in a week when one night, he was filling out his college application form when she came into his room holding a suitcase. Everything clicked into place and his eyes widened.

"Sean, I'm moving out. I figured now would be the best time, since you just have to get through this summer and then you'll be leaving for College. Mom had enough money stashed away to get you through the first two years, but that's it. You should get a job as soon as you get there and save the money to last you through the final years. I don't know what you're planning on studying, but make sure it's worth it because-"

Her words just became a buzz in the background. Sean's eyes started burning, chest constricting. His breath came out in short puffs.

"Wait. Wait, please. You can't leave me too, you're all I have left..."

His sister regarded him, an exasperated look on her face. Sean was trembling, tears threatening to fall.

"I-I don't have anyone else..."

She sighed.

"Sean, why do you think you're alone? Why do you think nobody likes you?"

A tear made its way down Sean's cheek. His voice cracked.

"I....I don't....everyone just-"

"No. You can't try to blame this one everyone else. This is what you've been doing since you were born, Sean. Since before Mom died and Dad left. You're impossible! You're always angry, always shouting, always getting into fights. You have this disgusting sense of self-righteousness! Would it kill you to try and get along with others?" "But everyone else-"

"Stop it! Please, think it through. If everyone hates you, surely everyone can't be to blame? All of those people can't be wrong. Obviously the problem lies somewhere in you. You need to get your shit together because the only wrong in this situation is yourself!"

And with that, she was gone.

Sean sat, trembling, staring at his shaking hands with blurry eyes.

 _She had to have a point. Surely everyone can't be wrong_.

 _Everyone hates me. Everyone has left me._ He thought.

_I have no one left, and I only have myself to blame. I can't help the way I am, right? Everyone goes on about how you should stand up for what you believe in and be true to yourself but in the end if no one agrees with you, you're the odd one out. You have to change.... I have to change._

Sean took a deep breath and slowly wiped the tear tracks from his face. He steadily turned back to his college application and picked up his abandoned pen.

_Field of Study: Human Psychology; with secondary classes in Sociology and Communication and Culture._

_Fuck this_ , he thought. _Fuck them. I'll make it so no one ever leaves me again. I'll go to college, and I won't be hated. I'll make them love me. I'll make them need me._

_I'll control everyone._

The clock struck midnight, and Sean McLoughlin turned eighteen.


	2. The First Step

Sean made sure to start every morning with a list.   
  
It was July, so that meant two months until Freshmen's Week at college started. He had chosen one of the furthest schools from his hometown; University of Oxford.   
  
Sean rolled out of bed and ran a hand through his hair, picking out the tangles. He looked outside and saw blue skies. Sweet.   
  
Stumbling over to the desk, he flopped down into his ridiculously uncomfortable chair and opened up his notebook. Flicking through the first couple of pages, he landed on a blank one and-   
  
"7th of July"   
  
Under the date Sean made 10 bullet points.   
  
The first section was things to do today for physical improvement.   
  
Number one was ' _ Go for a two mile morning run _ .' Just like every morning since he made the decision to change himself. Coupling that with the sit-ups and push-ups he'd been doing, his body was filling out pretty nicely.  _ If I'm gonna do this, I need to look the part. _ _   
_   
Sean quickly jotted down his other physical goals for the day:   
  
2) Sit-ups   
  
3) Push-ups   
  
4) Squats

  
_ Oh Christ _ , thought Sean.  _ Since pretty much forever, I've been wearing the same t-shirt and jeans... If I want to look the part, I've got to dress it too. I mean, having no friends or family, where am I supposed to get fashion advice from? _   
  
So that made the next point:   
  
5) Clothing research.   
  
_ It's decided, when I'm done exercising, I'm going to look on the internet at the styles at the moment and then go shopping. I've been saving my money for long enough, I can afford to splash out on some clothes, I guess. _   
  
The last five bullet points were social goals.   
  
Sean never knew the first thing about social interaction; it just never came easily to him. Whereas other people seemed to just coast through life, Sean had to put a ridiculous amount of thought and effort into everything.   
  
_ But I can't let that happen again _ , He thought,  _ I need to own it _ .   
  
_ I need to own everyone. _   
  
Making friends, keeping friends – such a complex art that Sean never understood. He'd never understood people; why they do all the weird things they do. Why can't everyone just say what they mean? There are all these bullshit unspoken rules and norms that appeared to come so naturally to everyone around him, but never to him.    
  
_ So I study.  _ Determination washed over him _. So I make a conscious effort to abide by these laws, so everyone will like me. So they'll never leave me. _   
  
So the Social Interaction Study Goals went a bit like this:   
  
1)   Conversation starting.  _ Thank god for the internet and all those people out there who write articles on this shit. _ _   
_   
2)   Listen to all the music in the Top 40 Charts. You bond with people easier if you share the same music taste. You can become instant best friends with someone you've just met through mutual love of a specific band.    
  
3)   Watch a few episodes of popular ongoing Tv Dramas. Same reason as above, plus Mr. Robot is damn interesting.   
  
4)   Do some background reading on some of the topics that'll come up in classes. Not too much, I don't want to sound like a smartass – but it'll come in handy, right?   
  
  
  
The reason Sean was taking Psychology was so that he could understand people better. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, fidgeting in the chair. The chair groaned under his weight.   
  
_ I can't control them if I don't understand them. I want to worm my way right into their minds, know what makes them tick and make sure I'm the centre of their universe. _ _   
_   
Communication and Culture classes covered social norms, and why humans abide by them - so that was perfect for him.   
  
Sean sighed. He couldn't think of number five for his list so he thought he'd come back to it later after his morning run.   
  


  
Within five minutes he was out on the street in a vest and sweatpants, Top 40 Chart Hits playing from his iPod.   
  
_ Killing two birds with one stone. _   
  
The air was crisp and easy to breathe and took in a refreshing deep breath. Thank god the suffocating heat wouldn't kick in until about mid-august, when even taking a stroll outside feels like walking into soup. Sean began to run down the familiar streets, feeling his muscles loosen up as he moved.   
  
Over the years, it'd gotten steadily easier and easier to ignore the cold glares he got from everyone around him. It was particularly worse with the elderly who had been friends with his mother, but then it was also pretty bad with children who had decided to hate him purely because their parents hated him.   
  
He turned a corner and ran straight into the icy disapproving gaze of an old lady sitting on her front porch. He physically shivered.   
  
_ Gulp _ .   
  
_ Ignore it, Sean. In fact, smile at her. You're gonna have to do a lot of smiling where you're going. Start now. Ignore the negativity. You're not that person anymore. You're going to rule these people. _   
  
Sean swallowed the lump in his throat and smiled softly at her as he jogged past. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the shocked expression on her wrinkled face. Triumph bubbled up inside him and he forced his legs to move faster.   
  
_ Do and say what you want. I'm above all of you. I'll own all of you. _ _   
  
_

~~~~~~~~   
  
It was midday by the time Sean was done with his physical exercise and his body was glistening with sweat.   
  
Definitely time for a shower. He crossed the completed items off of his list and peeled his vest off as he walked towards the bathroom. He glanced at the steadily developing definition in his abs and allowed a small smile to grace his lips. His arms were shaping out nicely too, he noted, as he undressed fully and stepped into the shower.   
  
The next few hours were spent on the internet – researching conversation skills, various "how to make friends" articles (He ignored the steps that said "Be yourself" because clearly that wasn't going to be happening) and doing some background reading into the bands he'd listened to today.   
  
Any new things he'd learnt were written in his notebook.   
  
Sean sighed and put his pen down. He hadn't bothered to properly dry his hair, choosing instead to keep the towel around his neck to catch the drips. That probably wasn't a step in the right direction concerning fashion. He frowned to himself.   
  
_ This is way harder than I thought it'd be but...I have to do this.  _ He chewed his lip in thought and opened a new tab on his web browser.   
_   
_ _ Fashion. _ _   
_   
_ Oh God, where to start. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Okay, maybe an apparel store's websites? _ _   
_ _   
_ _ But what style would even look good on me? Why are there so many styles? I'm so confused, fuck... _ _   
_   
Sean let his head tip backwards and stared at the ceiling, a whirlwind of thoughts running through his mind.   
  
Then all of a sudden an idea clicked and a grin spread across Sean’s face.   
  
Go to the shopping mall just outside of town, where the chances of people knowing him are slim, and practice some of the skills he'd learnt on unwitting shop staff.   
  
Just thinking about social interaction made Sean’s palms sweat a little bit. It was one thing studying it, but then actually putting it into practice was a different matter entirely. But it had to be done. No wars were fought and won without practical training.   
  
Sean made up his mind.   
  
~~~~~~~~~    
  
Half an hour later, Sean found himself on the train, incredibly grating pop music channelled into his ears through cheap plastic earphones.  His eyes darted around the train carriage, taking in the surroundings and hungrily watching the conversing people around him. Body language; the way the guy on the other side of the carriage leans forward in interest to what another boy is saying. Smiling with his eyes, his stance open and inviting.   
  
Compare that with the grumpy looking black-haired girl standing with her back to the doors, head down, and arms folded. She clearly wanted to be left alone. Sean scribbled everything down in his notebook.   
  
The guy on the opposite seat brushes his hand lightly over the pretty brunette girl next to him's leg. She squirms a little, an embarrassed pink lightening up her cheeks.   
  
_ Do people really not realise they're doing these things? _ Sean pondered to himself.  _ Now I've studied this kind of stuff, I'm seeing it everywhere. _ _   
_   
The automated voice announced that they had arrived at the mall, so Sean stowed his notebook in his satchel, stood up and made his way over to the doors. They opened with an unhealthy groan and the crowd of rushed passengers pushed out onto the platform – Sean getting washed along with it.   
  
_ Oh? _ _   
_   
Sean noticed a petite blonde girl get caught in the mass of people and trip over, spilling the contents of her bag onto the platform. She looked so pathetic, it was almost endearing.   
  
_ Now's a good chance, _ Sean thought to himself. He took a deep breath and wiped his all-of-a-sudden sweaty palms on his jeans. Sean weaved in and out of the bustling people (They're like cattle. Disgusting.) and bent down to help her.   
  
_ Speak. Soft voice. _ _   
_   
"Are you okay? Let me help you."   
  
The girl started and looked up, relief clear in her bright brown eyes. Passengers moved around them, not sparing a second glance for the two teenagers on the ground.   
  
"Thanks,” she sighs, exasperated. “I'm sorry to trouble you." 

  
_ Smile _ .   
  
Sean smiled.   
  
"Don't worry about it."   
  
Sean rescued a few scattered notebooks and a stick of lip balm from being trampled by the surrounding people. His eyes quickly danced over the cover of one of the notebooks. He recognised the design...   
  
An album cover! One of the bands he'd listened to today.   
  
_ Jackpot. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Make eye contact. _   
  
"Fall Out Boy, huh?"   
  
The girl’s eyes flicked to Sean, then down to the notebook and she suddenly broke out into a grin.   
  
_ Smile back. _   
  
"Yeah, I really like them! Do you?"   
  
_ Look sheepish. Scratch back of head. _ _   
_   
"I've only gotten into them recently."  _ Not a complete lie. Smile. _ "Heard a couple of songs. Got any recommendations?"   
  
_ Good job _ , he thought slyly to himself.  _ Address something the other party is passionate about. Take an interest. _ _   
_   
It clearly worked, the girl launched into an explanation of different songs that were either "good" "really good" or "oh my god you have no idea how amazing no seriously take my word for it" as she packed her belongings back into her bag.   
  
_ Lean forward to show interest. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Smile. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Laugh. _ _   
_   
So far, so good. They'd only just met and this stranger was displaying open body language and chatting animatedly, an easy smile decorating her features. Tooru collected one last piece of paper from the floor and stood up.   
  
_ Brush hand over hers when giving back belongings. _   
  
  
The girl stood up too, patting away the dust that had found its way onto her black skirt. Thankfully, the rush of passengers had almost completely died down, only a small trickle of people coming down the stairs to the platform to wait for the next train.   
  
The girl looked up at Sean.   
  
"Thanks, um....."   
  
_ Tell her your name. Smile. _   
  
"Jack."   
  
"Jack! I'm Emma."   
  
_ Keep on fucking smiling. _   
  
"Nice to meet you, I hope you didn't get hurt when you tripped?"   
  
_ Look concerned. Lean forward. _   
  
"O-oh no, I'm fine. Thank you for helping me out, you're such a nice guy!"   
  
_ Heh, aren't I just. _   
  
"I'm late to meet my friend though, so I'd better get going. Maybe see you around?"   
  
_ Smile. My face aches, constant smiling is tough work, fuck. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Nod. _ _   
_   
"Yeah, maybe. Enjoy your day, and be careful!"   
  
Sean waved to her as Emma walked away. As soon as she was out of sight, he backed up against the wall behind him, breathing heavily. His heart was going a mile a minute and his throat was dry.   
  
_ Calm down. Calm down, you're fine. That went really, really well. Breathe. _   
  
No one around him paid any attention as he wiped his hands on his jeans again.   
  
_ Okay. Shopping. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ His legs were shaking. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ This is just the beginning. _   
  
Sean forced himself to calm down and exited the train station.   
  
_ Just the beginning. _   
  
~~~~~~~~~~    
  
The shopping centre was packed, noisy and full of study material. Groups of teenagers that provided endless supplies of body language and communication skills that ended up in Sean’s notebook.   
  
_ Walk calmly but confidently. You own this place _ .   
  
Sean scanned the different stores until he came to a stop in front of one that caught his eye, and ventured inside. He weaved around a few immaculately dressed mannequins and browsed some hoodies hung up on railings, finding a few that he thought looked good but...   
  
"I know nothing about fashion..." He muttered to himself, sliding a green zip-up jacket along the railing to look at the black one behind it.   
  
A voice came from behind him.   
  
"Do you need any help, sir?"   
  
_ Holy fucking shit _ .   
  
Sean jumped and spun around.   
  
_ No. Wait. Calm down. Laugh it off. _   
  
His laugh came out a little forced and breathy.   
  
_ Fuck _ .   
  
He was faced with a very concerned looking boy with dark brown hair.   
  
"Ahaha, you made me jump..."   
  
Sean’s voice came out croaky.   
  
_ Clear your throat. Smile. _ _   
_   
The brunette looked at him.    
  
"I'm sorry; I guess I kinda snuck up on you. Is there anything I can help you with?"   
  
Sean took a deep breath. This is what you came here for, he told himself. 

 

_ Get it together. Smile, look a little embarrassed. _ _   
_   
He looked at the boy's name-tag.   
  
‘PJ.'   
  
_ Eye contact. _   
  
"I'm starting college soon and I need a new wardrobe."  _ Laugh _ .   
  
That one came out better, much more natural.   
  
_ Ask for help. _   
  
"I've never really been good with choosing clothes, could you help me?"   
  
_ Look hopeful. Smile. _   
  
PJ nodded.   
  
"That's what I'm here for. If you'd come with me, I bet I can find you something perfect."   
  
_ Alright, here we go. _   
  
Sean wiped his hands on his jeans again. This was more difficult than it looked, but it was going well. All according to plan.   
  
PJ led him all around the store, picking out t-shirts, dress shirts, jackets, hoodies, jeans and even accessories. Sean followed him, making conscious efforts to contribute to the conversation, compliment PJ choices and smile. 

  
_ Keep smiling. Keep fucking smiling _ .   
  
Sean was led to the changing rooms and a huge pile of clothes were dumped on him. With one last grin at PJ, he closed the door on the small booth and set to changing into the first set of clothes.   
  
_ God, I hope I can afford this _ .   
  
The outfit PJ had picked out was simple, but stylish. White t-shirt with a silver design underneath black and silver zip up jacket. Dark blue tight-fitting jeans and his own sneakers – which went really well with the whole thing, thankfully. PJ had guessed his size like an expert; Sean wondered how long he'd been doing this job. He wiped his hands on his own jeans that were hanging up and took a deep breath.   
  
Sean opened the door slowly.   
  
_ Act a little shy. _ _   
_   
"PJ?"   
  
The brunette jumped, probably surprised at being called by name.   
  
_ Damn it, I forgot he never introduced himself. Is it weird to call someone by the name you read off of their name tag? But surely it's normal, it's a fucking shop...if it wasn't okay, they wouldn't have name tags- _   
  
Sean spoke again, banishing the thoughts from his mind.   
  
"I'm coming out now."   
  
He stepped out of the cubicle, paying extra attention to his body language.   
  
_ Look a little bit uncomfortable. _   
  
PJ eyes glued themselves to him, raking over his body and taking in his whole appearance. Confidence bubbled up inside him, and Sean suppressed a self-satisfied smirk when PJ’s gaze lingered on his arm muscles - defined well by the form-fitting fabric.   
  
"You look good." The compliment came out in a quieter voice.   
  
_ Make eye contact. Hold the gaze. _ _   
_   
PJ’s cheeks flushed slightly, eyes flittering away for a second.   
  
"You think so?" Came Sean’s teasing voice. He brought his hand up and raked it through his hair, grinning when PJ’s eyes followed the movement.   
  
"I'm thinking of growing my hair out a little bit." A completely pointless bit of information, not exactly truth either. "What do you think?"   
  
PJ nodded, gaze still fixed on Sean’s fingertips playing with some loose strands of soft brown hair.   
  
"I think that would suit the whole look very well." He said, softly.   
  
Sean grinned. It was almost too easy.   
  
_ Compliment him _ .   
  
"You have a very good eye for these things, PJ."   
  
PJ fidgeted with his hands and Sean smiled. He didn't even have to command himself to do it that time, the whole process feeling more and more natural to him as he went along.   
  
_ This is getting easier, _ he thought, triumphantly.   
  
"Thank you for all your help PJ, I think I'll take it." Sean fingered the hem of the t-shirt appreciatively.    
  
Sean chuckled at the elated look on the boy in front of him's face.   
  
"Yeah. And the other stuff you picked out too. I trust your judgement."   
  
At that, PJ’s ears went pink and Sean mentally high-fived himself.   
  
"Thank you..."   
  
"I'll go change back now, okay?"   
  
And with that, Sean turned and sauntered back into the changing cubicle.   
  
He didn't even have to wipe his hands, they weren't sweating at all this time.   
  
Progress was sweet.   
  
~~~~~~~~    
  
Sean had a quick look over the price tags and heaved out a huge sigh of relief that everything was surprisingly cheap. He changed back into his own clothes, extremely satisfied with his progress.   
  
Carrying the pile of new clothes (They were all pretty damn nice, PJ you wizard) he walked calmly to the checkouts where PJ was waiting for him.   
  
Sean dumped the pile on the counter and gave PJ a big grin, which PJ replied to with a smile.   
  
"Oh," Murmured PJ, suddenly, "You said you were starting college? So am I. Which one are you going to?"   
  
Sean smiled, watching him scan through all the items.   
  
"Oxford." He replied, simply.   
  
The brunette's face split into a wide smile.   
  
"No way! So am I! I got in on the specialist Art program."   
  
Sean didn't even have to feign interest, this was awesome. Having one acquaintance at uni before even starting.  _ Damn, today was a good day. _ He let out a completely genuine laugh.   
  
"Wow, you must be amazing."   
  
PJ grinned.   
  
_ Cute _ .   
  
Sean carried on.   
  
"I'm doing Psychology."   
  
Silence, punctuated by the soft "beep" of PJ ringing up his clothes. Sean’s hands started sweating.   
  
_ Fuck, damn it, I should've elaborated, now the conversation's stopped- _ _   
_   
PJ looked up at him, eyes hopeful.   
  
"Would it be okay if we maybe hung out some time when we get to college?" He let the question trail off, eyes skittering back down to the clothes he was scanning.   
  
Sean’s eyes widened.  _ Yes _ , he thought. PJ had offered him the final say in the situation. He could have just said "let's hang out" or something, but no, he asked Sean. He put the ball in Sean’s court. That made Sean the leader in the conversation, the leader in their forthcoming "friendship."  _ Yes _ . He'd given him control.   
  
Sean grinned a big, toothy smile at the other male.   
  
"Of course, I look forward to it! My name's Jack by the way."   
  
PJ looked ecstatic. He was practically sparkling and he scanned the last shirt and put it into the bag. He glanced back to Sean.   
  
"That'll be one-hundred twenty-five, Jack." PJ beamed up at him.   
  
Sean fished in his satchel for his wallet and brought it out. Opening it up, he suddenly got an idea. He slid out a fifty and a twenty, and laid them down on the counter top. Completely ignoring the other notes in his wallet, he started rummaging around in the coin part. He placed five coins on the counter and then went back to feeling around in his satchel, a slightly worried look forced onto his face.   
  
PJ regarded him carefully, you could almost see the cogs turning in his mind as he assessed the situation.   
  
"Jack..." He started.   
  
Sean looked up.   
  
_ Did it...work? _ _   
_ _   
_ _ Put more emotion into your eyes. _ _   
_   
"I'm going to un-scan 4 of these items, and then put them in the bag for you. Then we're both going to pretend it didn't happen, okay? Call it a good luck at Uni present?"   
  
_ Jackpot _ .   
  
Sean twisted his face into a mixture of shame and gratitude.   
  
"Is that...really okay, PJ?"   
  
_ Make eye contact. Look away in shame. Bite lip _ .   
  
PJ’s eyes flickered down to his lips and Sean had to suppress a smirk.   
  
"Of course it is." Chirped PJ, a warm smile plastered on his face.   
  
_ Fuckin' ace. _   
  
_ Thank him. Make it seem like it was all his idea, and I'm amazingly grateful. Don't let him think for a second that it was actually me that put the thought in his mind. _   
  
Sean leaned forward and beamed at the brunette. He lowered his voice an octave and looked PJ straight in the eye.   
  
"Thank you so much, it really means a lot." He dragged out the "really;" rolled it around on his tongue and regarded PJ as the boy struggled to fight down the blush creeping onto his cheeks. "No one's ever done something so nice for me before."    
  
And it wasn't untrue. No one ever had - but the main goal was to make the boy feel special. If you make people feel special and wanted, they'll keep coming back to you in search of that feeling. They start believing that you value them, they think you're thankful for their existence. They have no idea that you're manipulating them to have these thoughts- they have absolutely no clue that this is a hold that you have over them.   
  
But then, the adorable flush lighting up that pale face was almost enough to make Sean feel bad about what he was doing.   
  
Almost.   
  
"It's nothing. I'll see you at Uni?" That hopeful voice again.   
  
Sean took the bag and gave PJ one last warm grin.   
  
"See you at Uni."   
  
Sean left with a considerably full wallet.   
  
~~~~~~~~   
  
Sean got home and flopped on his bed. He rolled on to his back and pumped his fist in the air in victory.   
  
"Fuck yeah!"   
  
_ I did it. Perfect social interaction, and I managed to get him to take fifty off of my shopping. Fifty! Oh man... _   
  
_ This is perfect... _   
  
_ But it's gonna be more difficult at Oxford. I'm not going to have blushing brunettes surrounding me, I'll need to manipulate a lot more people. I can't stop studying. _ _   
_ _   
_ _ This is just the first step. _   
  
Sean remembered back back to PJ’s hopeful expression as he basically asked permission to be around Sean, surrendering absolute control to him. He visualised the boy's emerald eyes positively sparkling with hope to be included in Sean’s life.   
  
_ Just the first step. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, thanks for all the kudos guys!  
> I didn't think people would actually read this!  
> Thanks for all the comments. I have a few chapters prepared already, so I'll try to update every few days.  
> These chapters will probably be pretty long, so look forward to them.
> 
> ~ Trick


	3. The First Day

The rest of the summer passed in a blur. Sean spent his time sorting out his college accommodation and studying human behaviour. With a week left before he moved to Oxford, the electricity in the house had already been cut off which meant Sean was computer-less and phone-less but otherwise okay.

 

Sean lay on his bed in his boxers (way too hot for clothes) and let his mind wander – touching on his anxieties concerning university. There would be so many different people, so many different thought patterns to analyse. So many individuals to completely monopolise and make his own. So many different ways in which to accomplish that.

 

A droplet of sweat steadily coasted its way down the side of Sean’s face and he brought a hand up to wipe it away.  _ Why was it so hot today _ ? Sean let out a sigh.

He rolled over to the side of his bed and felt around on the floor beside him, looking for his notebook.

 

Everything was in that notebook. All his notes on different things ranging from how to interpret body language to which football team were favoured to win the Premiere League. He had tried to broaden his interests and learn a little bit about anything. A shared interest with someone could make all the difference to their relationship.

 

Sean flicked through the book, sweaty fingers leaving faint marks on the pages. Near to the back on the notebook was the (currently) smallest section; one entitled “People.”

 

There was only one entry written down and that was

 

“PJ (Last name unknown)”

The night of their meeting, Sean had scribbled down any of his findings concerning the other boy. 

 

“Must be incredibly artistic since he got into Oxford on the Arts Programme, but doesn’t seem to look too deeply into social interactions.

 

Gave me a huge discount on shopping, and didn’t even suspect that I was acting at all.

 

Looked happy that he was helping me. This could correlate to low self esteem, maybe?”

 

This section of the notebook would be the most important to update when Sean was at college. He’d need to keep tabs on everyone, learn what made them tick. And only then could he make sure that their entire lives revolved around him.

He made a new list concerning college, and wrote "Find PJ" as the first point.

 

“I’ll control everyone...”

 

Sean murmured to himself, the stifling heat making him dizzy. His eyes slipped closed and he felt himself drift off. An afternoon nap wasn’t a bad idea...

 

~~~~~~~  

 

Oxford was huge. The city itself was gigantic, air thrumming with the energy of the inhabitants. Everyone always seemed to be busy, hustling and bustling down the streets.

 

_ Home sweet home, I guess _ , Thought Sean sardonically. 

 

The entrance hall couldn’t exactly be called welcoming, and as Sean let his eyes scan his surroundings he noted frayed carpet, stained walls and ah, a large notice board on the far left side. He wheeled his suitcase over to it and raked his gaze over the pinned pieces of A4 until he found the room allocation sheet.

 

‘Room 104, Jack McLoughlin.’

 

Well at least it was only on the first floor since there was no way in hell Sean was going to trust the elevators in this dump. Also, counting his blessings, although the rooms were tiny and probably freezing in winter – at least no one was forced to share with each other. No roommates, but a shared kitchen and three shared bathrooms on each floor.

 

Quickly checking the incredibly vague map pinned to the notice board, he abandoned his suitcase briefly to pick up his room key from the small reception desk outside the main entrance.

 

Sean hauled his suitcase up the stairs with surprising ease.  _ Hell yes, thank you muscles for your great service _ . He located his room easily enough. Right next to a bathroom, but the opposite end of the corridor from the kitchen – which didn’t matter all that much since Sean couldn’t cook for shit.

 

Unlocking the door, he swung it open and rolled his suitcase in after him. The door creaked shut. There was a mildly unnerving crack down one of the walls, a desk, a lamp, a chair, a mini wardrobe and a bed.  _ No sheets on the bed though _ , Sean noted. It could be a lot worse, but it was definitely inhabitable.

 

He turned the suitcase on its side, unzipped it and laid out his clothes for the morning on the small desk. Sean kicked off his shoes and collapsed on the bed with a loud “whump.”

He needed to go out and buy some bed linens and maybe a pot noodle or seven, but a short nap beforehand was probably a good idea. Smiling and making small talk with shop assistants as he bought things came incredibly naturally to him these days, but the constant smiling and bright facade was still exhausting to keep up with.

 

Sean threw an arm over his face and closed his eyes.

 

University was going to be exhausting.

 

~~~~~~~

 

After buying the cheapest sheets and duvet covers available in Oxford, and swinging by the local corner shop to purchase pretty much the entire stock of instant noodles, Sean had trudged back to his room. Due to it being the evening of the day before classes officially started, he passed quite a lot of students – wondering absent-mindedly if any of them would end up in his classes. He offered friendly smiles for all who looked in his direction and was pleased at the ones he received in return. Although Sean would prefer for people to offer him their undying love and support without any effort on his part, alas, that was not to be. He had to put the effort in if he was going to get anything out.

 

Which brings us to the next day. Official day one of college, and Sean had collected his timetable and was wondering the halls ten minutes early. His expert eyes flittered around the students littering the corridor before settling on a group of girls. Girls were the easiest. He approached them, making sure to keep his stance open and inviting.

 

He smiled, without needing to consciously command himself to.

“Hey, excuse me?” His voice came out smooth and easy. The group stopped their conversation and turned to regard him, faces relaxed and friendly.

 

“Yeah?” The second-tallest girl with pink hair answered him with a smile.

 

Sean let his fingers play with the hem of his shirt in an attempt to look sheepish

 

“I’m looking for room B-15, could any of you possibly point me in the right direction?” He chuckled lightly, “I swear I’ve been looking for it for like forty years now.”

 

The trio burst out into giggles.

 

“Forty years, huh?” Teased the first girl.

 

Sean laughed along with them, bringing his hand up to rake through his hair.

 

“Yup. I’m not even exaggerating! This place is a labyrinth...”

 

The three girls all nodded sympathetically.

 

“We feel you, man – we were the same in our first year. Room B-15 is just down that corridor and then turn right.” The one who answered this time was the tallest girl, her sharp face dotted with freckles and a mischievous glint in her dark eyes.

 

‘You’re wrong.’ Thought Sean. ‘It’s on the left not the right.’ He’d already looked on the campus map, he knew perfectly where everything was. He just needed to scout out potential “friends.” He smiled all the same and thanked the girls before walking away with a “see you around.”

The pink haired girl grinned at him, saying if he was ever lost around there in the future, they’d help him out. Sean thanked her again, goal accomplished. His list for the day had included things like "Make conversation with at least four strangers" and "scope out a potential friend group" - but his main objective was to make sure people knew him; to plant the seed of friendship and then leave it to the other people to cultivate it. Hopefully the next time they passed each other in the hallway, one of these girls would recognise him, maybe have a chat with him. Then from there it would be so simple to worm his way into their lives without them noticing a thing.

 

Sean turned left and arrived at his classroom five minutes early, and opened the door. For the first week only, Psychology Theory classes would be held in this room as the basics were explained. Then starting from next week, it would be taking place in the science lecture hall.

 

Sean made sure to exude a relaxed kind of confidence as he entered the room, casting his eyes around the people already seated inside. The teacher was stood behind the desk, shuffling papers and welcomed him into the room, inviting him to take a seat wherever there was one.

 

This part was critical. Sean scanned the faces of the students in front of him and settled on the trio sat at the back. It was always easier to introduce yourself into a group of three, he thought, remembering the tips he’d read on various websites. Joining a couple might feel like he was imposing himself on them, whereas three people would generally welcome an extra person to their group.

 

Walking over to them, he decided to pick the seat one away from the group of guys he chose. He pulled out the chair, laid his bag on the table and sat down, sending an easy smile across to the trio.

 

“Hey, what’s up guys?” Generic and simple.

 

The three looked over to him, grinning in return. Sean let his eyes take in all the aspects of their appearances, making mental notes that he’d probably have to write in his notebook later.

 

The one with the most welcoming smile and deepest voice had brown hair, a beard, and an american accent. 

 

The next guy had a friendly smile and a swedish accent. He must have a load of guts to actually dye his hair like that. Maybe Sean should compliment him on his hairstyle choice later? That would definitely make him like Sean instantly - this guy looked like he absorbed compliments directly into his ego.

 

Then the third had dark hair and a simple face. Looked a little less outgoing than the first two. Would probably be easy to manipulate – the quieter ones usually were.

 

Mr beard spoke up first.

 

“Hey, welcome to Psychology Theory, my man.” The stupid grin didn’t leave his face for a second. Maybe it was permanent. Maybe he was born with it.

 

Spurred on by the american, the swede responded next.

 

“’Sup bro.”  _ Oh god, he was one of those _ . “I’m Felix and this is Cry.” He gestured to his bland friend, who smiled shyly.

 

Sean waved his hand in greeting.

 

“I’m Jack. Nice to meet you guys.”

 

“I’m Ken.” Beard chipped in. Stupid name, stupid face. 

 

_ I could grow to like this guy. _ Thought Eren, smirking inwardly.

 

Ken reached over and pulled Sean’s bag so it slid over towards him.

 

“Why you sat so far away, man? Come sit over here.”

 

Sean laughed, getting up and switching seats to the one next to Ken. 

 

_ Perfect, perfect, perfect _ . 

 

He wiped his hands on his jeans and unzipped his bag to fish out a pen and his books as the trio made small talk.

 

“Where are you from?”

 

“Pretty far away huh?”

 

“What other classes you taking?”

 

“Your eyes are like...really blue, bro.”

 

Conversation with these guy was easy, although Cry didn’t contribute all that much. Sean had a feeling that Ken and Felix knew each other previously. Sean made a mental note to look more into their relationship later.

 

At the front of the class, the teacher stood up, commanding the attention of the class to the front of the room.

 

“Hello everyone – I’ll be teaching you for this first week. After that, the lectures will be in the lecture halls. Now firstly; do you all have your  ‘Understanding Psychology’ books?”

 

Nods from all students. The professor continued,

 

“Good, I’ll need you to turn to page-“

 

The class went on for an hour without anything notable happening. It didn’t seem like they’d be getting into much of the good stuff subject-wise for another term, instead concentrating on case studies completely unrelated to what Sean was really interested in. Still, it could all be of some use at some point.

 

While writing notes and highlighting important parts of his textbook, Sean made sure to keep tabs on the trio next to him – participating in their banter every now and again.

 

Ken let out a long sigh next to him and poked him in the ribs.

 

“Yo Sean, this guy seriously talks too fast. What even is Altruism again?”

 

Sean glanced over Ken’s notes. The guy had barely written anything at all. The class wasn’t even talking about Altruism anymore…

 

“It’s unselfish concern for the wellbeing of others.”

 

A blank look. Sean tried again.

 

“Y’know...helping other people even though there’s no personal gain?”

 

Understanding washed over Ken’s face.

 

“Oh, I see. Basically a quality that Felix will never possess?” He glanced teasingly over to Felix, who flipped him the bird and proceeded to abandon writing notes in favour of drawing an incredibly crude penis on Ken’s textbook.

 

Sean laughed out loud.

 

“Felix, you asshole!” Ken hollered.

 

“You started it, you fucking dumbass!”

 

“Is there a problem at the back?” The professor's voice rang out, slicing through the squabble. Sean noticed that everyone in the class had turned round to see what was going on. He offered an apologetic smile, but everyone looked more amused than annoyed. 

 

_ Thankfully _ .

 

Sean looked over at Cry who was sighing in exasperation and caught his eye. They shared a knowing look, and turned away with a smile.

Soon enough, the class was over without any other interruptions (other than Ken and Felix playfully kicking each other under the table, and Sean and Cry sniggering behind their hands) and Ken turned to Sean as they were packing up their books.

 

“Jack, do you have another class after this?”

 

Sean looked up from what he was doing.

 

“Nope, I’m free ‘til afternoon. Why?”

 

He zipped up his bag and turned to face Ken fully. He couldn’t believe how well this was going.

 

“We’re gonna go grab a Starbucks, wanna come?”

 

Sean mentally fist-pumped the air. Invited out after just one class! This was perfect... Sean had already decided that he didn’t want to have to be the one to chase other people to hang out with him – he wanted to be the one asked by others. This was the best scenario but…

 

It wasn’t enough. Sean subtly wiped his hands on his jeans and slowly focussed his eyes on the floor. He brought his hand up to scratch at the back of his head and gave Ken a guilty smile.

 

“Well, I would but...”

 

_ Bite your lip. _

 

_ Laugh a little bit uncomfortably. _

 

“I didn’t really bring enough money to go anywhere special today...” He trailed off in what he hoped sounded pitiable.

 

He jumped when Ken slapped him on the shoulder.

“Hey don’t worry about it, I can buy you a coffee! Plus, you helped me about with the Altruism thing back there so it’s only fair, right?” 

 

Sean smirked inwardly as Ken threw an arm around his shoulders. “I can tell I’m gonna be depending on you a lot in the future.”

 

_ Oh you have no idea. _

 

_ Look hopeful but uncertain. _

 

“Really? I mean, if that’s cool with you...?”

 

Felix stood up, swung his backpack over one shoulder and stepped towards them.

“It’s no problem Jack, it’s just a coffee.” He said, smiling.

 

As Felix bent down to retrieve his book, Sean’s mind was racing. 

 

It wasn’t just a coffee. It was more the idea that these people wanted Sean in their company enough to spend money on him. Of course Sean had plenty of money for a £3 Latte, but the notion that he could still get people to offer him things by practically batting his fucking eyelashes at them-

 

Sean was broken out of his thoughts by Ken’s voice.

 

“Do you want to walk there or take the express?”

 

The answer was unanimous and ten minutes later, they were sat on a small train coasting along a small street. 

 

Sean looked out of the window. The view was amazing. Sean thought it was probably one of the most beautiful sights he’d ever seen.

 

That is, until he got off of the skyrail and crashed into a stranger getting ready to board. It was mostly Sean’s fault since he was fake-laughing at a terrible joke Felix had just told, but that didn’t even matter anymore because as the stranger stumbled backwards and landed on his ass with a thump, Sean swore he’d never seen anything so perfect.

 

_ When the fuck did my life become a crappy chick flick? _ He thought to himself.

 

“Watch where you’re fucking going, you little shit!”

 

Scratch that, characters in chick flicks generally didn’t use that much profanity in the same sentence.

 

Sean’s eyes dragged across the form of the male on the floor, and the parts of his brain capable of forming coherent speech promptly packed their bags and left.

 

How was it even humanly possible to have such nice cheekbones? Sean took in the dyed red hair messily styled, sharp features and gorgeous eyes that were narrowed in absolute fury at being suddenly pushed to the ground. 

 

The stranger regarded Sean with an icy glare, eyes practically burning with hate as he slowly picked himself up from the floor.

 

_ Fuck, I should have helped him up. _

 

Sean’s senses suddenly came back to him in a rush.

 

_ Apologise quick. _

 

He mustered the most apologetic smile possible.

 

“I’m so sorry! It’s totally my fault, I wasn’t paying attention-“

 

“You’re damn fucking right you weren’t!” The stranger – oh wow he was short – cut him off mid sentence.

 

It really threw Sean off. That wasn’t how the conversation was supposed to go. 

 

Sean was supposed to apologise with a smile, the stranger would forgive him and then they’d go on their merry way. This wasn’t right, this wasn’t what he’d studied.

 

_ This guy is dangerous. _

 

_ Smile _ .

 

The stranger regarded him carefully, eyes narrowing – not in anger but something else.

 

It was unnerving.

 

_ Keep smiling. _

 

“Yeah, I’m really sorry about that... And I’m also so sorry that you just missed your train.” 

 

_ Lean forward _ . 

 

“You’re not going to be late for class or anything are you?”

 

_ Look guilty. _

 

Sean wiped his hands on his jeans. There was something about this guy... It wasn’t just that he was mad at him, there was something else. He looked...intrigued. His eyes were almost smouldering with it.

 

The shorter male pulled out a small bottle of hand sanitizer from his pocket and squirted some on his palm.

 

“Fucking disgusting...” He muttered to himself. “I didn’t get a goddamn Scholarship to be knocked over by shitty brats who aren’t even-“

 

“Hey, don’t be such a dick.” Ken. Sean had forgotten all other people on the platform even existed.

 

Ken stepped forward.

 

“It was an accident and Jack apologised. Would it kill you to just let it go?”

 

A perfect eyebrow raised in amusement.

 

“Oh? Well maybe  _ Jack _ should pay more attention to his surroundings.”  The way his name rolled off that tongue shouldn’t have been nearly as erotic as it was. Eren gulped. This wasn’t going according to plan at all. What was wrong with this guy? He’d imagined that there would be assholes at college, but he thought that with all the studying and preparation, he could at least get along with them. This wasn’t right. He should be controlling this guy by now.

 

Ken turned to Sean.

 

“Come on Jack, let’s go. You tried to be nice to him but some people are just...” He let the sentence trail off and started to walk in the direction of the exit. Felix offered Sean a supportive smile too.

 

“It was really good of you to continue being so polite even after being yelled at like that. You’re such a nice guy, Jack.”

 

A small victory. While this event was a little worrying, at least everyone in the vicinity knew Sean had the moral high-ground. This would definitely work out well for him in the future, after all - who wouldn’t want to hang out with such a “nice guy?”

 

Sean was broken out of his triumphant musings by a deep chuckle from the man in front of him, hand sanitizer safely pocketed away. Why was he laughing? What could he possibly have found funny?

 

_ This guy is a fucking cretin.....Ignore it... _

 

Sean thought to himself, furiously fighting down the glare that threatened to creep into his expression. 

 

_ Smile and politely excuse yourself. _

 

He painfully twisted his face back into a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes like it was meant to.

“I’m sorry again, I hope you have a good day.” The man’s eyes narrowed, amused glint not fading once, a smirk spread across his angular features. Anger bubbled up inside Sean.

 

_ What is this guy’s problem? _

 

He just wanted to punch the shorter man in his infuriatingly gorgeous face.

 

_ Smile. _

 

Sean smiled.

 

“If you see me around campus, I hope you’ll allow me to make it up to you?” 

 

Desperate measures.

 

Sean turned, waved and lightly jogged off to catch up with Felix and Cry – Ken close behind him.

 

“Man, what a dick.” Chirped Ken. “You didn’t have to go that far to apologise to him, Jack. He was the one being out of line.”

 

Sean made a noncommittal noise of agreement as he felt the gaze of the stranger bore into the back of his head as he jogged away. At least he managed to keep up the facade in front of everyone else, but it didn’t seem to get through to that guy at all.

~~~~~~~

They literally spent the next two and a half hours hogging the comfiest chairs in Starbucks. Ken had treated Sean to an iced Latte and they had all sat around talking about their lives before college and the classes they were taking.

 

Sean found out that Ken and Felix were childhood best friends who were living in an apartment off campus together.

 

“I’d be useless without Ken, seriously” Laughed Felix as Ken smiled fondly into his cappuccino.

 

More often than not, Sean noticed that most of the conversation topics were revolving around him. Then, when they talked about other things, the trio of boys would always ask for Sean’s opinion first. It was like they were offering him the lead in their conversation and while it was a tiny, tiny gesture; Sean felt a rush of power.

 

As it turned out, they all had a lecture in the fourth hour – albeit different classes. 

 

Cry took a long slurp of his pretty much melted frappuccino and faced Sean.

 

“What’s your plan for the rest of the day?” 

 

Sean looked thoughtful for a moment, drink long finished.

 

“After my Communication and Culture class I’ll probably grab some lunch then hit the library to write up my notes properly and maybe get some studying done.”

 

The notes he was talking about weren’t class notes. He had to make sure to copy all of his findings down in his notebook; everyone needed their own page of details. Especially the red-haired stranger from earlier.

 

“Wow, that’s really commendable Jack – studying so hard even so we’ve only just started.” 

 

He sighed and gave Felix’s shoulder a playful shove. 

 

“If only Felix would take his studies as seriously.”

 

“Hey, I’m serious enough!” Ken was indignant but everyone just laughed. Felix patted Ken’s leg in what looked to be normal friendliness, but he didn’t remove his hand.

 

“Of course you are.” 

 

He turned to Sean who snapped out of his thoughts quickly. 

 

“So, could we join you for lunch?”

 

Just the idea of people asking permission to be with him sent thrills through Sean’s chest.

 

“Sure, no problem. I was planning on just eating in the college cafeteria though.”

 

“Sounds good to me, we could meet you at the south entrance?” 

 

Sean nodded.

 

“That’d be fine, yeah. Should we get going now?”

 

The group of boys cleared up the mess they left on the table (“Really, Felix? Six packets of sugar for one latte?”) and went to deposit it in the bin before making their way back to the express station.

~~~~~~~

So Communication and Culture was taught by Professor Dodger, who was incredibly passionate about the subject and upset that not many people appreciated it like she did.

 

“It’s awesome!” She had shouted, barely ten minutes into the lesson. “Not only do we point out weird-ass social things humans do, but we also address WHY we abide by them!”

 

Sean agreed wholeheartedly with her, he just wasn’t ridiculously openly enthusiastic about it. He was also the only male in the class.

 

“It’s like this every year.” Dodger explained. “Barely any guys take this class, they favour subjects like sociology instead. There are a bunch of reasons, but we’ll get to those when we study gender norms. It's gonna be a great year, everyone!”

 

Sean decided he liked her, but in small doses.

 

As it turned out, one of the girls who had helped him out this morning was in this class. Marzia was a second year student, but she needed to pick up an extra class so she’d chosen Comms. She’d recognised Sean as soon as he’d entered the classroom and called him over to sit with her and a quieter girl called Molly. Sean decided that he liked them both, and decided that he wanted to add them to his collection of friends.

 

As the class came to an end and Hanji set them some background reading to do between classes, Marzia tugged on Sean’s jacket.

 

“Where you off to from here, Jack?” 

Sean smiled as he closed his books.

 

“Gonna go grab lunch in the cafeteria.” He replied.

 

Marzia’s eyes legitimately lit up.

 

“Lunch! That’s such a good idea! That’s actually the best idea! Molly, let’s go get lunch with Jack.”

 

She caught Sean’s eye and gave a soft smile.

 

“Okay then.”

 

~~~~~~~~

 

As they were walking towards the cafeteria, Marzia chatting away about the day’s lunch specials, Sean caught something out of the corner of his eye. 

 

Brunette hair, baggy sweater, dull jeans and an unconfident stride. 

 

Sean called out,

 

“PJ!”

 

The boy jumped a mile in the air and almost dropped the book he was carrying. As soon as he recognised Sean, a warm look of relief washed over his face. He crossed the corridor,

 

“Jack! It’s good to see you again, I was wondering if I’d run into you today.” He offered an uncertain smile to Molly and Marzia. Sean took the oversized book from PJ.

 

“Let me carry that for you.” He noted Marzia and Molly’s soft smiles at this. 

 

“We’re just going to go get some lunch, want to come with?”

 

Although Sean hated being the one to ask, judging by the nervous glances he kept throwing at the two girls, he doubted PJ would ask to be included in front of other people. PJ started fiddling with the hem of his sweater.

 

“Are you sure that’s okay?”

 

He looked so unsure.

 

_ Smile. _

 

_ Make him feel included. _

 

“Of course, PJ. Let’s go, I’ll introduce you to everyone else when we get there.”

It was only another five minutes walk until they met up with Ken, Felix and Cry and after a brief introduction and exchanged pleasantries, they were all sat on a table in the cafeteria.

Sean made sure to sit next to PJ since he looked so uncomfortable around all the new people but within a few minutes he’d become friendly with Felix and Ken.

 

Sean smiled to himself, pleased with the outcome. 

 

Cry and Molly seemed to have a lot of shared interests too, and Sean didn’t miss the fleeting glances Felix kept sending to Marzia, who was munching on a sandwich produced from her bag.

 

And judging by the way he kept looking between Felix and Marzia and huffing, it seemed that Ken hadn’t missed the glances either.

 

_ Maybe because they’ve been friends for so long, he’s worried about being replaced? _ Thought Sean, adding another point to the list of things he’d need to write in his notebook.  _ But then...if they go back so far, shouldn’t he be more comfortable in their friendship? _

 

Sean sighed to himself.

 

_ The main problem is that I told Ken and the others that I didn’t bring much money. Now how do I buy lunch... _

 

Sean looked at the ceiling in contemplation and frowned slightly. Ken must have noticed,

“What is it, Jack?” 

 

Sean snapped back to reality.

 

“Just hungry...” He wasn’t lying. “I’m just wondering what I could afford...”

Realisation clicked in Felix, Ken and Cry but surprisingly it was Marzia that spoke.

 

“I need to go buy a drink. Come with me.” Sean nodded and they both stood up, weaving in between the tables to join the queue at the front of the cafeteria. They waited behind a tall guy with a buzzcut and stood in relative silence until Marzia spoke up again.

 

“PJ seems like a really nice kid.” Sean nodded, smiling, wondering where exactly she was going with this. Marzia continued,

 

“I saw him earlier today being pushed around by some older students. It’s a really good thing that you invited him to sit with us – I don’t think he would have managed to make his own friends otherwise.” Marzia smiled softly up at him and Sean replied with a grin of his own.

 

“It’s nothing big. I invited him to sit with us because I want all my friends to get along together – not because of any ulterior motive or anything.” 

 

_ Lies.  _

 

Sean smiled but stopped suddenly as all the oxygen simultaneously left his body.

 

The faux redhead from before was currently sauntering up to the line, that had grown considerably longer since Sean and Marzia had joined it. 

 

Sean watched the way his hips rolled as he walked, and wished it didn’t bother him as much as it did. His heart was practically beating out of his mouth when the shorter male came to a halt right in front of him.

  
  


But he paid Sean no mind at all, focussing instead on the guy with the buzzcut in front of him.

 

Shorty cleared his throat and the other guy jumped. 

 

The smaller male spoke, words slipping out from between his lips like smooth cream.

 

“Wade, I’m hungry.” Such a simple phrase, but it seemed to hold volumes. The man known as Wade flinched again, his voice coming out breathy,

 

“A-ah, Mark!”

 

Mark. His name was Mark. The name burned itself permanently into Sean’s memory. 

 

Mark spoke again, his face showing nothing but disinterest for the man in front of him.

 

“The pasta today looks good.” He murmured quietly. The words were like a magic spell, the effect instantaneous. Wade's hands darted to his wallet.

 

“Should I buy it for you, Mark?” 

 

Mark regarded his perfectly manicured fingernails absentmindedly, flicking some imaginary dirt from them. He looked up at Wade through thick eyelashes, a glint of amusement present in his eyes but otherwise no emotion in his face to show what he was thinking.

 

Sean watched on, dumbfounded.

“Wade...” The way Mark rolled his words was sinful. “I thought you’d never ask.”

 

Sean choked on his own saliva, startling Marzia and catching the attention of the two males in front of him. A spark of recognition lit up Mark’s steely eyes as he regarded a coughing Sean with mild distaste.

 

This guy was good. 

 

His command over Wade was perfect and flawless... How had he achieved it? 

 

But then, a man like Mark simply demanded respect. For someone so short, he had an established ‘dont-fuck-with-me’ aura. 

 

Sean caught himself and gave Marzia an apologetic smile.

 

Mark didn’t spare him a second glance as he walked over to the wall, pulling out an iPhone and waiting, presumably for his pasta.

 

Marzia bought Sean a chicken sandwich and got a bottle of water for herself, but all Sean could see was Wade bringing Mark his pasta.

 

Mark looked up from his phone with a ghost of a smirk adorning his lips. He took the pasta and fork offered to him and put his phone away. He fixed his cold glare on Wade and Sean could almost see the way Wade shrunk under his gaze. 

 

Mark raised an eyebrow.

 

“You can go now.”

 

And with that, Wade was dismissed. As he scurried away, Mark glanced at Sean – lips twisted into a sneer. 

 

Sean felt his face heat up.

 

Marzia looked between the two of them and sliced at the building tension.

 

“Sean, do you know that guy?”

 

Sean tore his eyes away from the cold, brown ones boring into his and gratefully accepted the packaged sandwich from Marzia. He shook his head, giving what he hoped was his most innocent look.

 

“No.”

 

'Find out more about Mark’ was soon to be written on his list in  **bold.**

 

~~~~~~

Back at the table, Sean chewed thoughtfully on his sandwich. 

 

Mark was a manipulator, that was for sure. He was clearly skilled at getting what he wanted, possibly more skilled than Sean. 

 

He needed to get to the library where he could record his findings for the day, there was so much information buzzing around in his head.

 

Sean stood up,

 

“I’m going to go to the library to study, okay?”

He got a sick jolt of pleasure from the lost looks on everyone’s faces. Sean was the one that introduced them all, and this still being the first meeting, if he were to leave, it could get awkward for everyone. 

 

Sean grinned. 

 

He was off to such a good start; he already had these people hanging on his every word, looking like lost puppies without him.

 

“I’ll catch you guys tomorrow, yeah?” He beamed at them.

 

_ Better help them along a little bit. _

 

“Hey Marzia,” The brunette looked up. 

 

“Ask Ken to tell you about Felix’s awkward high school life.”

 

Ignoring Felix’s squawk of protest he laughed and got up from the table. 

 

That should give them a decent conversation topic to last while he was gone.

 

Sean picked up his bag and excused himself with a wave and a grin. 

 

As soon as he got out into the corridor he let out a long breath, feeling all the tension from pretending leave his body. 

 

He walked leisurely in the direction of the library, remembering how naturally Mark had commanded others.

Two could play at that game, but Sean didn’t want to do it so coldly. 

 

It was so much more satisfying when the people you control don’t know they’re being controlled - if they think they’re acting on their own whims.

Sean couldn’t stop the smile spreading across his face.

 

_ No one will ever leave me again. Not unless I tell them to. _

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter three is complete! Sorry it's so long.  
> I had to make Mark a bit of a dick...sorry about that.  
> (shameless #SexyMark)  
> As always, leave a comment and kudos if you enjoyed!  
> New chapter coming soon!
> 
> Also, sorry if there are any name mix ups in this story. I'd originally written it as an SNK fic, but never posted it.
> 
> ~ Trick


	4. Chapter 4

It took a few weeks, but Sean settled in nicely to university life.

At first, balancing studies, assignments and keeping tabs on all of his friends was a little overwhelming, but he got the hang of it quickly.

Sean had managed to land himself a part-time job at a diner a little ways off-campus and made quick work of winning all the customers over with calculated smiles and devious words. All it took was a wink, a grin – or even a ruthlessly cute yawn; “oh I’m just a little sleepy from college” and tips found their merry way to his back pocket. The managers weren’t safe either, not from the way Sean’s shirt rode up ever so slightly when he stretched and yawned, slyly mentioning that he was up all night studying for a test and he was so tired – and they were simply falling over themselves; “Oh Jack, sweetie, why don’t you take the rest of the night off?”

A conniving, unseen smirk. Wide, innocent blue eyes.

“But...I can’t-“

“Don’t worry, we’ll pay you until the end of your shift. You just go home and get some sleep – you work so hard!”

An exhausted but immensely grateful smile that disappeared the second he was out the door.

The crazed, triumphant glint in his eye was seen by none.

He was now the clear, undisputed leader of his group, too. No one did anything without his knowledge, no one strayed from the pack, and no one even got a haircut without asking Sean his opinion first. He was getting pretty well-known around campus too. Everyone had heard of Jack McLoughlin, the first year student with the ocean in his eyes and a smile for everyone; kept his best friends close and could be found at the end of classes fastidiously writing notes in the library. There was never a lack of students eager to join his group and get into Sean’s good books, and this filled his chest with a sick kind of joy.

It was exhausting though, mentally and physically. Inwardly crushing his true thoughts and feelings, never letting them show through his face, body language or eyes. Sean could barely get enough sleep. The mental fatigue made him slightly more irritable – which meant he had to try even harder to keep any anger under wraps. It all went unnoticed, though. The marks in his palm where he’d dug his nails into them to physically restrain himself from punching someone. The occasional toothaches he’d get from the times when he’d gritted his teeth in an attempt to hold back cutting words and scathing remarks just dying to be released. Headaches from stress, from over thinking...

But it was worth it. He was exactly where he wanted to be. No one would ever leave him.

_Except..._

“Hey man, I don’t feel like going to Psychology today. Skip with me?” Sean was all mischievous green eyes and hidden intentions.

Felix looked a little hesitant at first, but it disappeared in a split second as he nodded and followed Sean in the direction of the field. It was a crisp October morning and quite a few students were making the most of the last dregs of sunshine – some lying on the field with their friends, some sat on benches hunched over books. Sean marched briskly towards a patch of grass a considerable distance away from the other students.

“Ken and Cry can deal without us for one lesson.”

Sean sat down and motioned for Felix to do the same. There was a crunch of dry leaves as Felix plopped down next to him. Felix was obviously wondering why Sean had brought him here.

Felix Kjelberg was infatuated with Marzia. It was obvious from the beginning, especially to someone like Sean who had poured over books on body language – but it stepped up to a worrying level recently. He had made a list about it already - points including finding out more about these feelings, and working out how to combat them.

Sean grinned at his friend,

“So...Marzia, huh” His smile widened as Felix suddenly choked on air. Sean let out a deep chuckle as Felix tried to compose himself by hiding his face in his hands. After a few seconds he peeked up at Sean from between his fingers and sighed.

“She’s so beautiful, Jack. Her hair...it’s so long and perfect…” he sighs.

“I don’t know what to do, I just want to take her out someplace nice and-“

And then it suddenly hit Sean in a way it had never occurred to him until now. He didn’t even need to listen to anymore, his panic already kicking into overdrive. His mind was like a nuclear explosion behind the iron facade of “supportive best friend” that was plastered on his face.

Felix was serious about Marzia. He wanted to date her, and take her places, and maybe everything would go perfectly, and they’d move in together. They’d spend beautiful, lazy nights in front of the television, have candle-lit dinners and love and cherish each other more than they could possibly love and cherish Sean.

 

They’d leave him.

They’d _leave him_.

 

 _Oh,_ fuck _no._

 

Felix’s babbling trailed off and he lay back on the crisp grass, arm covering his face.

“Her hair is so perfect.” He murmured, voice croaky.

_Smile._

_Smile like you fucking mean it._

_Spout out some supportive friend bullshit._

Sean’s nails cut into the palm of his hand.

Encouraging words slipped meaninglessly from his lips, and Felix hung onto the end of every one of them.

  


_There’s no way in hell I’m letting you leave me_. Sean thought to himself.

Sean’s gaze was suddenly caught by a brown haired boy walking near them with a nervous look on his face. Sean knew him as Aaron Ash. He occasionally joined them at their table in the cafeteria but he never had much to say.

Sean followed him with his eyes until he saw where he was headed.

Sat under a tree not too far from them, with an oversized blazer draped over his shoulders was Mark. It looked like he was sleeping, but he stirred and opened his eyes as the noise of Aaron’s footsteps grew nearer. His usual indifferent expression settled on his face, but his eyes carried a devious glint to them as he regarded the nervous boy walking towards him.

Felix was suddenly ignored as Sean’s full attention focused on the two men. Sean had seen Mark around campus quite a few times, his eyes automatically seeking him in a crowd more times than he liked to admit. When they passed in the corridors Sean always made sure to offer him a warm smile, but all he received was an icy stare in return. A few times, he’d caught Mark watching him interact with his friends, amusement lighting up his eyes. It was frustrating. So far, Mark was the only person in the whole goddamn school that didn’t seem to like him and it irked Sean to no end.

Aaron had stopped in front of Mark and pulled out a folder from his bag. He handed it to Mark with a shaking hand and Sean craned his ears to hear the exchange.

“-did the whole assignment for you. References and everything are already written in...” Aaron was sweating anxiously, a deep blush spreading rapidly up his neck.

_He’d done Mark’s assignment for him? Why?_

Mark took the folder from him and flicked through some of the pages absentmindedly, seemingly ignoring the boy in front of him, who was becoming increasingly uneasy. Mark looked up and Sean could see Aaron almost jump at the direct eye contact, his fingers bunching up the hem of his shirt.

Mark was smirking, eyes hooded; and it looked filthy -perfect- on his face.

Aaron was stuttering, gaze fixated on the ground and Sean almost felt sorry for him.

When Mark spoke his voice was like rich velvet; artful words slipping out from those sinful lips.

“Not bad.” He positively purred the words. “I’ll make it up to you properly later.”

The promise had Aaron shaking, nodding, stammering a response and fleeing back in the direction of the main college building on quivering legs.

_What?_

_What could he possibly...?_

_Oh._

It suddenly occurred to Sean what “making it up” to him might entail. Everything made sense. Sean’s face suddenly heated up, mind working in overdrive, conjuring up all sorts of possible scenarios. Indecent scenarios.

Mark was...he was.....Sean couldn’t even put it into words. That was one of the ways Mark had the whole student body (and oh god, half of the teachers) wrapped around his little finger. And that blazer that was draped so casually over his lithe shoulders...it was way too big for him, it couldn’t possibly be his own. What if it was...it was probably...

_Oh my god._

Sean’s heartbeat sped up and it took Felix’s large hand shaking his shoulder to break him out of his fantasies.

“Are you okay, bro?”

Bro.

Bro.

Bro.

Sean’s eye twitched.

He banished the thoughts from his mind and nodded, still a little dazed, face still uncomfortably warm.

“Yeah...yeah...But anyway, Marzia?”

Sean’s mind settled down a little as he listened to Felix go on about her gorgeous long hair for the billionth time.

_The hair._

 

_The hair, hm?_

Sean made a mental note to add this to his list.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

“Your hair’s getting pretty long, huh?”

Sean and Marzia were walking back to the dorms together after saying goodbye to the rest of the group at Starbucks.

Marzia brought a hand up to play with a loose strand of her dark tresses.

“Yeah, I guess...” She let the sentence trail off.

Sean pushed forward.

“Does it not get in the way? It looks like a hassle.”

He shouldn’t have felt so good about how Marzia’s face suddenly shifted to looking pensive as he twirled her hair around her fingers.

“You think so?” Her voice was so delicate. “Maybe it is a little too long...”

She frowned slightly, more to herself than Sean. She looked up at him; face a canvas of an inward turmoil,

“Do you think I should cut it short?” She sounded unsure. Most girls were very particular about their hair.

Sean smiled, more because he was happy that Marzia was asking him for advice on something he was planning on telling her to do anyway, than in reassurance.

“If that’s what you think is right.” He offered, patting her shoulder. It was always good to let them think they were making their own decisions.

“But...” Marzia trailed off again, looking at the sky. “It’ll be winter soon...My neck will get cold.”

Sean almost laughed.

“I’ll buy you a scarf.”

~~~~~~~~

When Sean got home, he crashed out on his bed immediately. He was so tired. So tired and so stressed.

He fished around in his bag for his notebook and found today’s page – quickly crossing various points from his lists,

_Get someone to skip class with me._

And

_Figure out a way to kill Felix’s feelings for Marzia._

He quickly wrote a separate _Marzia’s going to cut her hair because I told her to_ on his achievements section. He smiled softly to himself.

He turned to the back of the notebook where he had the names of his acquaintances and their attributes, and cast his mind back to the Mark incident. The pen suddenly became harder to hold as he wrote down his new finding...one of the ways that Mark used to manipulate people.

Sean felt his face heat up again.

“Mark seems to be a master of sexual manipulation.”

And Sean could understand how. He was all unattainable perfection, full of icy glares, filthy smirks and a sensual kind of confidence. And he had every reason to be confident - he beautiful. But Sean couldn’t help but wonder if Mark had actively studied sexual manipulation, or if it just came naturally to him. Like, what if he just woke up one morning, realised that he was gorgeous and decided that no one in the world was deserving of his attention unless they gave him something first? Or that he could use his body to get what he wanted?

Sean groaned and threw an arm over his flushed face. At least he could cross 'Find out more about Mark’ off of his list but...

Just watching Mark in action was disturbingly exciting, he couldn’t imagine being on the receiving end...

When Sean fell asleep, his dreams were all teasing smirks, promises of “making it up to him” and Mark, Mark, Mark.

\--

The next day, Sean entered the cafeteria to see that Marzia had cut her hair into a short bob and he made sure to compliment her on it – a warped sense of joy burning in his stomach.

The morning of the next day saw Sean wrapping a long red scarf around Marzia’s neck, coiling it around and around her like a loving cobra.

The day after that, Sean patted Felix on the shoulder, eyes overflowing with calculated sympathy as the swedish male sobbed into the crisp autumn grass.

“I don’t get why this hurts so much”

_Yeah, neither do I._

“Why am I even fuckin’ crying?”

_No seriously, why are you._

“Man, this is embarrassing.”

_Fuck, you’re telling me..._

But still, watching his friend in such pain made his chest constrict in the most repulsive way.

Sean buried the feeling and let sweet, comforting nothings tumble from his lips – conveniently forgetting that it was 100% his fault that Felix was like this.

Felix didn’t need to value anyone more than he valued Sean. No one did.

Sean made sure to check up on Felix every day; and when he invited him over to his room to watch a marathon of Come Dine With Me, Felix slung an arm around his shoulder, gave him a lopsided grin and thanked Sean for being such a good friend.

Sean let out a breath that he never realised he was holding.

~~~~~~~~

Ken was generally the one to disturb the peace at lunch, and today was one of those days.

“Ryan’s throwing a house party for Halloween!”

Everyone looked up from their food. Ken was the first one to speak,

“Yeah, I got invited on Facebook. I’m not going, though. Me and Ryan don’t really talk enough for me to feel comfortable in her house, y’know?”

There were nods all around. Cry spoke up next,

“There’s actually a late night horror movie marathon I wanted to check out on that night, so I wasn’t planning on going anyway.”

“Cry, you’re such a nerd.” Felix laughed, playfully punching his friend on the shoulder. “I was debating whether to go or not, but...” His eyes flicked nervously to Sean.

“What do you think, Jack?”

Sean was deep in his own thoughts. He’d been invited to the event on Facebook too, Ryan was a guy that he sorta got along with – but the main thing was that

  1. A)  Ryan was a third year. Mark was a third year.
  2. B)  Ryan hung out with Aaron and Matt. Both of which Sean knew to be doing various things for Mark. They’d definitely be there..



The conclusion was that there was a (small but still there) chance of Mark being at this party – and Sean hated the desperation with which he wanted to be at this party too.

He looked up. Everyone was watching him, everyone was waiting for his answer.

He noticed that not just his table, but a few of the tables around him had stopped what they were doing and were waiting to hear whether he was going or not. Pleasure wracked through him like a tidal wave.

“I want to go.” As soon as the words left Sean’s lips, the area around their table exploded into hushed chatter.

“Jack McLoughlin is going to Ryan’s Halloween Party!”

“I wonder what costume he’ll wear?”

“I’ve always wanted to talk to him.”

“I’ve never seen him off campus before, I’m definitely going now!”

Sean fought back a smirk as he looked around his own table. Ken and Felix looked uneasy, and another jolt of pleasure shot through Sean’s stomach.

Ken broke the silence,

“You know, actually, I think I will go after all!”

Sean grinned at him, a twisted kind of delight settling in his chest.

“Awesome!” All eyes were on Cry now, who was fidgeting slightly in his chair.

 _Just another little push_.

Sean beamed at everyone on the table, purposefully neglecting to make eye-contact with Cry.

“It’d be way more fun if we all went together, right?”

The last part was clearly directed at Cry.

Cry let out an awkward, nervous laugh.

“Yeah, haha...You’re right, Jack. I’ll come to the party too, the marathon might come back again...so...” He trailed off, looking slightly uncomfortable.

Sean grinned with joy, reaching across Felix to slap Cry’s shoulder.

“That’s great, Cry, I’m so glad you’re gonna come too! Thanks!” Sean’s insides churned in elation.

Cry smiled brightly again, and everyone murmured in agreement.

And Sean inwardly jumped for fucking joy.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!  
> sorry I've been kinda MIA recently, i got pretty busy  
> This one's a little shorter than the others, so sorry about that  
> If you guys want more, please tell me in the comments, and i'll try to update every weekend.  
> Please leave feedback, and kudos are always appreciated!  
> Thanks!
> 
> \- Trick


	5. I'm So Sorry

hey guys, i'm so sorry i've been gone for months. my life has been so hectic recently, and i'm trying to deal. i'm not sure whether or. it i'll continue this specific story or not, but i'll have new stuff coming soon. thanks everyone!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!  
> First Septiplier fic, sorry if it's bad.  
> Please comment or leave kudos if you'd like me to continue! This is just the prologue, so I have a lot more in store!


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